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Dec. 1st, 2009 05:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sekitouso I know I've been quiet this past month. my sincere apologies to anyone I haven't replied to, and my thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday.
I've tried to write this post several times, but it's hard. and I guess as a way of mentally avoiding it, the post keeps turning in to a round of, "this was the worst nano ever!" and that's not what this is about, so I'm not going to say that.
and I just deleted another rambling paragraph that had nothing to do with what I wanted to say here.
Binkley died on the 24th.
it wasn't completely out of nowhere, since he was 19 1/2 years old. but he had been healthy other than normal old age issues, up until his recent very serious bout with his teeth. I thought we were in the clear, but apparently not. it was liver failure. he didn't suffer, but he and I did go through two very long weeks of back and forth as we tried to diagnose and treat him. he died on the night of my birthday. I threw myself back in to nano so I wouldn't have time to dwell. and I only finished nano out of sheer stubbornness because I really didn't care any more.
I really can't talk about it yet. I'm still mostly in shock. it's just a massive mental adjustment that has to be made when someone who was your constant daily companion (at many times, my only companion) for 19 1/2 years is just suddenly gone. I'm sure I'll be back here with something far more eloquent to say later when I'm able.
I've tried to write this post several times, but it's hard. and I guess as a way of mentally avoiding it, the post keeps turning in to a round of, "this was the worst nano ever!" and that's not what this is about, so I'm not going to say that.
and I just deleted another rambling paragraph that had nothing to do with what I wanted to say here.
Binkley died on the 24th.
it wasn't completely out of nowhere, since he was 19 1/2 years old. but he had been healthy other than normal old age issues, up until his recent very serious bout with his teeth. I thought we were in the clear, but apparently not. it was liver failure. he didn't suffer, but he and I did go through two very long weeks of back and forth as we tried to diagnose and treat him. he died on the night of my birthday. I threw myself back in to nano so I wouldn't have time to dwell. and I only finished nano out of sheer stubbornness because I really didn't care any more.
I really can't talk about it yet. I'm still mostly in shock. it's just a massive mental adjustment that has to be made when someone who was your constant daily companion (at many times, my only companion) for 19 1/2 years is just suddenly gone. I'm sure I'll be back here with something far more eloquent to say later when I'm able.
